At the top of a ten storey block of flats,
In a part of Erdington that allowed no cats,
Antonio’s tiger was taking a Jacuzzi bath,
While reading the Sunday Catograph,
After scrubbing his claw he inspected a paw,
Then opened his mouth and let out a roar.
Below lived a dentist, retired, named Phil,
Who paused for a second, clutching a drill,
“I’ve heard it before,” he started to mutter,
“It sounds like the guy is an absolute nutter,”
He proceeded to fill in a hole in his door,
Then screwed in a hook in the hole he’d just bore.
The tiger lay moaning and started to cry,
Then leapt from the bath and shook himself dry,
Antonio had left him a plate of cat food,
He attempted to eat so as not to seem rude,
Remembering a play fight, his owner had swore,
So he’d eaten Antonio just two days before.
The problem you see is that big cats eat game,
They cannot survive on Cat-Kitty, a shame,
Poor tiger was suffering from a rotten left molar,
It triggered his mood swings and made him bipolar,
Phil from downstairs had finished his chore,
Then decided to knock on Antonio’s door.
Of course Phil the neighbour got such a shock,
He froze when the tiger answered his knock,
Being professional he produced a card which read,
‘Dentist’ in emboldened gold typing, then fled,
Antonio’s tiger just had to know more,
So he leapt downstairs to reach Phil’s floor.
Phil beat a retreat but the tiger jumped in,
The dentist stood rooted with a fixed grin,
Then Antonio’s tiger opened wide his jaw,
Phil paused for a moment to find out more,
“Goodness me, so that’s why you roar,
It needs drilling and filling to stop being sore.”
Phil took a needle and said, “This may hurt,”
The tiger just grunted and hung on his shirt,
Antonio’s tiger lay dreaming of fresh deer bone,
As Phil made a call from his mobile phone,
Now the tiger’s new home is in Dudley Zoo,
This exotic Bengali just loves his green view.
© Shareen Rouvray 2017